


Invasion

by dbskyler



Category: Quark (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 08:04:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14374464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dbskyler/pseuds/dbskyler
Summary: Quark receives his next assignment:  stop the invasion!





	Invasion

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the "Be the First" challenge for inspiring me to write for this fandom! This silly little ficlet isn't much, but hopefully it will inspire others to also revisit this sci-fi spoofing TV show. If you're not familiar with _Quark_ , it aired back in the 1970's, starred Richard Benjamin, and was created by Buck Henry. If that's not reason enough to go check it out, I can't help you. ; )

Adam Quark arrived for his next mission update, hoping that for once he would receive an assignment that wasn’t garbage collection. He was surprised to see the level of general panic at Perma One — people were running, and shouting at each other, and frantically checking computer screens. He made his way through the corridors in a daze, wondering what was causing so much chaos at the usually calm space station. What was even more surprising, everyone seemed especially pleased to see him, although none of them answered his questions, instead hurrying him quickly along his path. 

“Palindrome, what’s going on?” he asked when he finally arrived in the supervisor's office.

“Quark, thank god you’re here!” exclaimed Palindrome. “The United Galaxy has been invaded, and you’re the only one who can save us!”

“Invaded?” said Quark, finally feeling the fear that permeated the rest of the station. He paused. “Is it a big invasion?” he asked.

“The biggest!” said Palindrome. 

Quark lowered his voice. “Is it the Gorgons?” he asked. The Gorgons were the dreaded enemies of the United Galaxy, and he could think of nothing worse than to be invaded by them.

“Worse!" said Palindrome. "We could at least reason with the Gorgons. There’s no reasoning with this invasion. You have to stop it, Quark!”

"No reasoning?" asked Quark. "Not even a little bit?" Garbage collection was actually starting to sound pretty good in comparison to this assignment. “And I’m the only one who can stop it?”

“That’s right, Quark!”

“What about Commander Barnstable? I just passed her in the hallway. Can’t she help?”

“No, she doesn’t have what we need. It’s all up to you!”

Quark swallowed nervously, then took a deep breath and stood straighter. “I’m ready, sir. I will save the United Galaxy. What must I do?”

Palindrome turned his monitor around, and Quark finally saw the invasion for himself: row upon row of space baggies, all heading towards Perma One.

“You’d better get going, Quark. The first wave is expected to hit us within the hour, and we have no idea what’s in those baggies. The smell could last for days. Go out there and collect that garbage like you’ve never collected garbage before!”

"Yes, sir," said Quark. He wasn't sure if he should feel relieved or disappointed, and finally decided on both.


End file.
